Whitewashes, bloody excuses and funny quotes !!!

A collection of funny quotes over the week or so, except for one that was quoted earlier this year by Wayne Bridge of Chelsea FC. Starting of with a pseudo-funny but actually a sombre one by the one and the only Ozzie.

1) Ozzie Guillen is one of the most colorful characters in sports today. Manager of Chicago White Sox baseball team had this to say afterbeing battered in the doubleheader by Boston Red Sox on Friday,"(Today) was 12 hours of my life wasted, and I am never going to get it back". Boston outscored Chicago 21-4 in the doubleheader, and swept the four game series with a combined score of 46-7, taking all the momentum ahead of their much-hyped three game series against NY Yankees. Somehow you can't help feeling sorry for Ozzie. Good luck to you next year.

2) Atleast once in our life we have given silly excuses to support our case when we were kids, and even when were adults. This is the funniest one I have heard in a while. Majid Haq happens to play for Scotland cricket team, and was supposed to represent their team against Ireland in the Intercontinental cup, an ICC sponsored tournament, I guess. But he backed off citing work commitments, and this is what he said. "My dad runs a takeaway in Paisley and I have to help out this weekend because my mum and brother are both away in Pakistan, one of our chefs is unavailable and our delivery driver has gone to jail for three weeks."

3) Chelsea FC and England left-back Wayne Bridge had this to say, earlier this year, after Chelsea struggled to beat some lowly team in English FA cup, "A win is a win, and I am glad we took three points out of this game." FA cup is a knockout tournament, you win you stay, you lose and you go home. Wayne was so confused about the tournament he was playing that he probably thought that was at a champions League game or a Premiership match.

4) "I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up." - Ian Holloway gives his verdict on who wears the trousers, probably after Roy Keane's rant against soccer stars' WAGs (wives and girlfriends).

5) "I love the big man, absolutely brilliant. Some of the films were a bit dodgy. That one where he was diving off a cliff, climbed back up to the top, his hair was immaculate and he wasn't even wet... and for me that's why he's the King." - Ian Holloway's Elvis tribute in his BBC column. Looks like our Rajini is not far behind in style stakes.

6) "Drogba will finish top scorer by a long stretch and Tevez won't be too far behind." - Someone at one of the online forums about the weekend Premiership games on BBC.

7) "Nothing surprises me any more in the Premiership, but that surprises me." - Alan Curbishley on the delay in the move for Kieron Dyer to West Ham.

8) "He is different from our other strikers... he can score goals." - Liverpool FC manager Rafael Benitez on Ukrainian Andrei Voronin. Err...isn't that what strikers are supposed to do anyways ???

9) "Don't hoover up while Chelsea are playing because if you knock the telly, Robben will fall over." - Former Dutch international Ruud Gullit quotes chaos theory scientists to give his verdict on Chelsea!

10) "And the two strikers exchange hands..." - During the Radio Scotland commentary of the last Rangers game, as Nacho Novo replaced Kris Boyd...Must have been quite a scary one to watch !!!